Sat, May 19 2012
Squid Workshop Example - Jules' Voice
Ok, I identify more closely with Jules than I do the other characters, so if you think this example doesn't sound like him, try to let me down gently.
Jules:
Jules never tired of the view of the undersea world in all of its magnificence. He had filled pages of his notebook with drawings of the creatures he had observed, and the captain had been kind enough to give him some pastels to capture the vivid colors. He wasn't sketching now though; his notebook was hanging idly from one hand as he drank in the contrast of light and darkness on the large reef they were approaching. He blinked as part of the reef began to swim away from the rest. Not a reef then, but a large denizen of the deep. Jules recalled the whales he had seen. Was this another enormous mammal that could only live in the water? No, he could see tentacles. More like an outsized octopus, perhaps. However, when the thing swam into a shaft of watery sunlight, he realized what it was and he felt himself grow a little bit colder.
He had read the story of the gunboat Alecton's battle with a specimen of giant monster that the article had named "Architeuthis" and the piece the crew had brought back. This then was that creature brought to life. The long snaky tentacles, the pointed body, and the staring green eyes all marked it as part of the titan that had nearly sunk the boat. The skin was a grey brown in the light and the airholes along the arms of the beast moved sickeningly with a sucking motion. Jules raised his notebook and began to capture the details on paper, scribbling furiously as the thing undulated along the reef. It was only after he raised his head again to take in more detail that he saw the beak-like mouth open to reveal rows upon rows of sharp teeth. It dawned on him that he could not be seeing into the mouth unless the creature were swimming directly toward the ship. The skin had turned a dull red and there was something purposeful in its movements that suggested it had something unpleasant planned for the Nautilus. Jules backed away from the window, knowing he should alert someone to the danger, but hypnotized by the movements of this behemoth of the ocean. He shook off his trance reluctantly and went through the door to raise the alarm.
Why I think this sounds like Jules:
1. I just do.
2. Seriously, this is the Jules I know. He doesn't feel trapped in the Nautilus as Phileas would, but rather looks on it as a fantastically wonderful opportunity to learn. He keeps his notebook with him because he never knows what he might see. And his first inclination is not to see a threat or a problem, but rather a scientific curiosity.
3. Jules does notice details so that he can record them accurately and he doesn't always realize the danger he's putting himself in as he tries to get the picture on the paper. Later he can fill in with what he remembers, but he has to get the sketch down to remind him first. He belatedly realizes that something not-so-nice is going on, but it is secondary to capturing the description.
4. Jules does not have a finely-tuned sense of survival. We are all aware of his propensity for going down dark alleys without considering the consequences. For Jules, it is more important to know than to protect himself. That's why he waits until he knows he must do something to go for help.
5. He tends to relate new things to his past knowledge. I have no doubt that Jules would have read that article published in 1861. You can look it up; that's what I did. I had remembered reading that the squid of Jules Verne's book was based on actual reports, so I'm betting that Jules knew about it. Yes, that is specialized knowledge, but if I found it, anyone can.
Reasons why others may not think it sounds like Jules:
1. I can't think of any. I'm sure there are some, but they escape me.
Ok, those are my examples. Read through them and assign a value of 1 to 4 in your head. 1 meaning that I couldn't possibly be more wrong and 4 meaning that I got it just right. Discuss if you wish because that's what these are for. When I start publishing the entries, you won't post your ratings online, but rather send them to me so that they will be anonymous. I'll remind everyone about the rating system when I start posting the paragraphs.
You still have a week. Remember that the ratings will be completely unknown to you, so you don't need to worry about them. Try your hand at it, because you never know what might happen.
Looking forward to it.
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Example Post 3 | Example Post 4