Sat, May 19 2012
| TITLE: | Victorian Christmas |
|---|---|
| AUTHOR: | Sherry Thornburg |
| CATEGORY/TYPE: | Poetry, Christmas |
| RATING/WARNINGS: | G, Gen |
| MAIN CHARACTERS: | List any main characters or adult relationships |
| DESCRIPTION: | An SJJV "Twas The Night Before Christmas'. |
| STATUS: | Complete |
It was the night before Christmas and all through the manor
Its mistress was wandering around in a clammier!
The master was in a state to be tied,
All because of a last minute honor, they’d be fried!
So filled with the spirit Fogg told Passe to take
off for the week of Christmas, for Christmas’s sake.
And Rebecca, not thinking that she’d entertain
Had told Miss Betty and McIvers do to the same.
They had fought the good fight this year; that was true.
They had fought the Count and a Chinaman too.
They had fought vampires and Golems and Lords.
They now wanted a break, one without guns or swords.
They had just darkened the house for a long winters nap
Having given each other a double night cap,
When what to their irritated ears they did hear
but a messenger banging at the door with great cheer.
A liveried man had come from the Queen.
And they knew in a moment that their rest would be lean.
“You are to be honored!” the liveried man cried.
“You are to be praised and toasted and… rise!
“The queen is coming to share with us this night?”
“Godmother didn’t say she would come,” Rebecca cried out in fright.
To which the messenger answered, “She could not, for fear
every Tom Dick and Harry would descend on her here.”
“Oh, goodness, oh goodness!” Cried Rebecca in distress.
“The house is empty and the parlor’s a mess!”
Phileas Fogg gave up an exclamation more coarse.
He tore at his jammies threatening to run for his horse.
But Rebecca would not be left holding the bag.
She tackled him soundly and asked the messenger, agag,
“When will the Queen be arriving our berth?”
“In no less that an hour, so make ready your hearth.”
And then with a determined glint in her eye,
Rebecca dragged her cousin back into the house by the tie.
“We have to get moving Phileas! Cousin, be quick!
We have to get the house ready lickety-splick!”
“But how?” Phileas asked as he looked over the parlor.
Their dishes were still out and the study was a horror.
There was no Christmas tree up, as the Queen liked so much.
There was no Christmas feast, no presents, no punch.
The season had bypassed the old English manor.
“And the Queen is to see it like this in an hour?”
But Rebecca had the emergency well in her hands.
She leaped for the keyboard and her twentieth century fans.
“Now Oden, now Tree, now Foggy and Vita,
Now Danceshadow, Annie, Ladyaine, and nice Tilla,
I’m begging here, come help us out of this stew!
You know me and know well I am desperate for you!”
More rapid than eagles the web fairy went
to gather up all the nice ladies and gent.
They came by old-fashioned dial-up and cable,
DSL, broadband and any other magic to enable.
“We can help you,” Oden said gladly.
“Show us the cupboard,” the evil monks cried madly.
They got down to business cleaning the hall
until everything was spotless. Then all
Set to work decorating the manor with care.
Kevin, Phileas and Vita laid bowes everywhere.
Others set out the china, silver, and plaids.
They set up the tree, stockings and heirloom do-dads.
They even made food for the Queen’s Christmas bash.
The evil monks brought their secret cookie stash,
Oden set a goose out and Tree brought the rolls.
Tilla, Red and Annie set out fresh veggies in bowls
Promommy and Foggy set out pies and butter tarts
while Danceshadow loaded punch and tea on their carts.
In less than an hour the group of friends had it done.
And the whole house looked like Christmas, as of 1861.
Then, as the Queen’s coach came within sight
The Foggs suddenly feared for the night.
“Will the Queen understand fan fiction travel?
Oh, its too late, here she comes up the gravel.”
Queen Vic stepped out of the coach on the lane
And saw only friends who kindly wrote of her reign.
“Oh what fun!” She said happy to see them all there
And insisted they stay and join in the fare.
“I know all of these good ladies, and gentleman… dear Kevin.
Please join in my visit. It will be just heaven!”
A party then commenced that rivaled the biggest country ball.
Kevin and Phileas partnered dancers till they thought they would fall.
The champagne and wines flowed freely and bright
Until all cheeks were rosy and all hearts were light.
Saint Nicholas even made an appearance near two
And handed out presents to all of the crew.
I saw the Queen leave calling from her coach near daylight,
“A Victorian Merry Christmas to all and good night!”
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